Avenue D

What happens when you’re a pair of fabulously hot girls (barely old enough to drink) from the moist and pseudo-primordial land of Miami who enjoy the musical strains of rap, freestyle, 80's New Wave, and punk? Well, if you’re Debbie D. or Daphne D., you have no choice but to morph like a magical, fantastic robot into a volatile, hilarious ghetto booty group called Avenue D. Then you must fuse these musical influences (from 2 Live Crew to Cyndi Lauper, from Jem and the Holograms to CRASS) together to produce an awesome array of songs with all the style and fun of 80’s camp, mixed with hard-hitting beats, and a little "Girls Gone Wild" thrown in for good measure. Then you go forth and shock and rock the legions of teeming masses in NYC and beyond!

With their outrageous outfits and sexy dance moves, Avenue D provided plenty of eye candy to the hungering masses. Yet, no vapid girl group was this: incredibly innovative ghetto tracks and wildly original, laugh-until-you-pee lyrics made every song stick in the brain long after the music had ended. Collaborating with new and established DJs from all over the scene, Avenue D’s music commented on such hard-hitting issues as the War on Terror (War Sucks and Bang!), our increasing reliance on technology to find fulfillment (Orgasmatron), and the overall role of sexuality in modern society (how many have suffered from those 2D2F? Hmm?). Of course, these topics were all illuminated with saucy lyrics, heavy beats, and enough ass-shaking to make a monkey go blind.

From humble, almost Quaker-like beginnings, the group began as an original creation of the 2001 electroclash revolution in NYC before busting out into new musical galaxies. Avenue D collaborated with a plethora of musical wunderkinds, like Tigra (from L’Trimm), Phiiliip, Cazwell, Mikey P., Larry T., and ye olde pop culture icon himself, Boy George, and played to sweaty masses at old-school and spanking-new New York establishments like CBGB's, the Cock, Don Hill's, Piano’s, Siberia, Deitch, the Warsaw and Stinger Bar. The classy lassies were featured in an overwhelming amount of publications, from VICE to Paper, k48 to Time Out New York, Blender to The Face, The Los Angeles Times to The New York Times.

The girls smacked the New York City scene up and then preached their sexual sermons across the country and beyond, playing to packed clubs in Chicago, Boston, California, Hawaii, Texas, and Florida. With iron grips that could crush a man’s soul, they reached out to mesmerize audiences in Japan, Brazil, London, Amsterdam, Rome, Ibiza, and Germany. The D’s conquered the Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh (would Andy have approved? We think so!), and made major eyes at Henry Rollins before rocking his brains out at a gay marriage rights rally in Washington D.C. Much like an attack by manic locusts, nowhere was safe from the shaking hips and fast lips of the girls of Avenue D.

And then, like some brilliant supernova, Avenue D exploded into oblivion. After six years of taking decency to the furthest limits, the girls bid a fond farewell to the music world with not one, but two final shows: one in New York City and another in their hometown of Miami. But while the band may be gone, they’re definitely not forgotten: three CDs containing never-released singles and artist collaborations will soon be available, as well as a DVD box set of their music videos and notorious sitcom, Down on Avenue D.

From Miami to New York, from the backseat to the center stage, it’s been one long, strange, hard ride for two simple girls who grew up listening to booty bass on Miami’s 5 o’clock Traffic Jam. But at least they always knew how to go out with a bang.

by: Deidra Garcia

Elsewhere on the web: http://www.avenued.com