On The Record:
There’s No “Right Way” by CRAY
On The Record is a series of first-person pieces penned by TuneCore artists.
“I’m Never Sticking in One Lane”
I’m finally at the age where I see the pattern of my own creative choices, and here it is: I’ve always done whatever the fuck I wanted, regardless of anyone else’s opinion. For me, that’s never meant sticking in one lane and putting my joy for whatever I love into whatever medium I’m working in.
That meant everything from content creation to fashion to horror-themed cover songs. At the start of my career, that meant gaming.
It was something I loved and, cheap to participate in. In the entertainment industry, you have to give money to make money and I didn’t have any money to give. Twitch was a way to make supplemental income but, when I married the tracks I was uploading on Soundcloud for free to my gaming streams, both took off.
The intersection of Twitch and music is more commonplace now but, ten years ago, it wasn’t “the right way” to make it in the music industry. That pissed people off.
“The Right Way”
The number one thing I was told over and over again in the music industry is that I wasn’t doing things “the right way.”
What is the right way?
What does that even mean?
Some people would tell me the right way is to try and be Taylor Swift. “Your goal is to be the next Sabrina Carpenter, your goal is ‘pop star.’” No. My goal was to pay for my house, my life, and the things I love by being creative. I am living the dream right now already.
That blows a lot of people in the music industry’s minds because, to them, I’m not doing things the “right way.”
“I’m Just Going to Keep Going”
If I listened to everyone else in the industry, I wouldn’t have achieved my dreams at all. I would have built a brand based on critiques.
I know what that’s like all too well.
When I was a child, I was diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and a bunch of learning disabilities. That meant, at a young age, I was critiqued so much for not being neuro-typical. But, since I was already “always wrong” and was already “not doing anything right” by the time I became an adult, I embraced it. I decided that I just didn’t care. I made it through childhood already, so I’m just going to keep going.
That means no one can tell me what I’m “not” going to do. You just can’t tell me something I’m not gonna do. Everyone in the industry when I first started Twitch streaming and gaming and doing music at the same time, they all told me I was crazy. When I started influencing and creating content before anyone was doing that as a musician, managers and agents said “what are you doing?” I didn’t care.
I want to blend music and gaming – I don’t care. I want to marry books to music – I don’t care. I want to create content – I don’t care.
“Do What You Want”
Here’s the truth about the music industry: the system is rigged and, if you’re a woman, it’s double rigged.
Only 37% of the Billboard Top 100 are women. We’re not at the top. We have the hardest battle to get there. And that doesn’t just apply to music: books and gaming are male dominated industries too. In each, I’m hearing “do this, do that, be prettier, you’re too old,” a stream of criticisms and advice that’s 24/7.
So here’s my advice to young women that want to be creative: do whatever the fuck you want.
Do whatever makes you authentically happy from your heart of hearts and don’t listen to anyone else. Truly: just keep doing you and keep being consistent. Stevie Nicks did that. Paris Paloma is doing it. Charli XCX is doing it.
I’m doing it too.